"Should I send my daughter to the front lines?" From a father-in-law's opposition to a mother's true feelings about "having to hand over the bankbook"

Not only the individuals facing marriage, but also the parents watching their children's choices undergo a whirlwind of complex emotions. In a recently broadcasted episode of the YouTube channel 'Dongchimi', the cast members had an honest conversation about marriage and parental attitudes based on their own experiences.

"An athlete son-in-law is unsettling"... A father-in-law's opposition and a mother's hidden true feelings

In the video, Seok-jin, who is a former athlete, revealed an anecdote he experienced during his past marriage process. He stated that he wanted to marry immediately after graduating from university, but faced strong opposition from his father-in-law. Recalling the situation at the time, Seok-jin said, "If I think from my father-in-law's perspective, I can fully understand." He explained that considering the short career span of an athlete, the father-in-law would have been concerned about sending his daughter into an unstable environment.

Seok-jin mentioned that during his marriage preparations, the family condition was to have a 'daughter-in-law who attends church,' and that his in-laws were a family with strict Confucian ideologies. Accordingly, he added that there was a process of lying to the in-laws to get married. Additionally, Seok-jin mentioned the change in his mother's attitude toward marriage. He noted that while his mother initially urged him to marry, she appeared to oppose it once the marriage was actually imminent. During this process, Seok-jin mentioned a 'secret' containing his mother's true feelings. He lightened the atmosphere by offering a speculative remark that one of the practical reasons his mother opposed the marriage was "because if he gets married, he has to give his son's bankbook to the daughter-in-law."

"Fearing the first impression might be a failure"... Tense formal meetings and parental standards

The cast members continued their conversation about how difficult the process of obtaining parental consent can be before deciding on marriage. Lee Hyuk-jae recalled the three weeks he spent hovering in front of his mother-in-law's door, saying he worried about how he would be perceived by his in-laws because his appearance was not particularly likable in the past. He shared the tense moment when he finally met his mother-in-law at a ssambap restaurant, saying, "I was worried I would fail based on my looks." He shared an anecdote where the mother-in-law at the time mistook Lee Hyuk-jae for a customer and greeted him with "Welcome," but the atmosphere soon became awkward.

In this process, a discourse regarding the 'standards' of parents also formed. The cast members empathized with the point that the more parents have cherished and raised their children, the higher their standards inevitably become when choosing a spouse for them. One cast member explained the influence of parental expectations on a child's marriage, saying, "There are cases where standards rise unconsciously because of thinking, 'How did I raise my child?'" In particular, it was mentioned that the attitude of parents who excessively emphasize a spouse's physiognomy or conditions to their children can influence the child's choice of a spouse.

"Marriage is a choice, not a necessity"... Changing views on marriage in a changing era

The conversation naturally expanded to views on marriage in a changing era. The cast members acknowledged that marriage is no longer a mandatory life cycle but has entered the realm of individual choice. One cast member mentioned, "We are in an era where only about half of the current generation gets married," and said, "If a child gets married and lives too hard and miserably, not doing so is also a good way." This contains a positive view of a lifestyle based on economic independence, living without depending on a spouse.

Furthermore, they also honestly revealed the loneliness and worries felt as parents while respecting their children's choices. Deep conversations about human bonds and attitudes toward life beyond the institution of marriage continued, such as expressing the romance of "wanting to meet a soulmate and travel together" or confessing the sense of isolation that comes behind the glamorous profession of being a celebrity. The cast members concluded the conversation by agreeing that if a child can be economically independent, they do not necessarily have to depend on a spouse.